Sex and Endometriosis: How to Reclaim Intimacy on Your Terms

Sex and Endometriosis: How to Reclaim Intimacy on Your Terms

Let’s talk about something that deserves way more airtime: intimacy and endometriosis.


March may be Endometriosis Awareness Month, but if you’re living with endo, you know the experience doesn’t just clock out when the calendar flips. The pain, the flare-ups, the mental load... it’s all very real, every single day. And one area it can deeply impact? Your intimate life.


Endometriosis affects about 1 in 10 people of reproductive age assigned female at birth—around 190 million individuals worldwide. Yet, for all its prevalence, we don’t often talk about how it can reshape things like sex, desire, body confidence, or even emotional closeness with a partner.


So, let’s do that here.


Whether you’re navigating painful sex, feeling disconnected from your body, or just wondering how intimacy fits into your endo journey, you’re not alone.


This guide is all about helping you feel more informed, more supported, and maybe even more hopeful when it comes to intimacy, pleasure, and connection—with yourself or a partner.



What Is Endometriosis—and How Does It Impact Sex?

 

First, here's a quick refresh on what endometriosis is—because the more we understand it, the more empowered we are to care for ourselves (and communicate what we need).


Endometriosis happens when tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it—often on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or pelvic wall. This tissue still reacts to hormonal changes, so it thickens, breaks down, and bleeds like a period... but there’s nowhere for it to go.


Cue inflammation, scarring, adhesions, and pain. Lots of it.


Common symptoms include:


  • Chronic pelvic pain

  • Pain during or after sex (yep, we’ll get into that)

  • Heavy or painful periods

  • Fatigue

  • Digestive issues

  • Fertility challenges


Sexual pain is one of the most under-discussed but deeply felt symptoms. Up to 70% of people with endometriosis experience sexual dysfunction—whether that’s pain, low desire, or difficulty reaching orgasm. And if that’s something you’re going through? You’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.



Sex and Pain: The Reality Beneath the Sheets


Let’s be real: pain during sex is more than a mood killer. It can feel like your body is working against you. Like pleasure isn’t even on the table.


In people with endometriosis, a type of sexual pain called deep dyspareunia (that’s pain with deep penetration) is especially common. It can feel sharp, achy, or even like a deep internal bruise. Not exactly what you had in mind when you thought of “getting intimate,” right?


The pain can come from several things: the location of endo lesions, nerve involvement, inflammation, or pelvic floor muscle tension (more on that later). And here’s the kicker—anticipating the pain can sometimes make things worse. When you expect it to hurt, your body naturally tenses up. Over time, that tension can become its own source of discomfort, even if the initial cause isn’t flaring.


It’s a complicated loop. One that can make sex feel scary, frustrating, or even impossible at times.


But here's the good news: there are ways forward. Think gentler, kinder, and more creative approaches that can bring connection back into the picture (without pushing your body past its limits).


 

The Emotional Toll: Body, Mind, and Relationships


Endometriosis doesn’t just live in the body: it affects your mind, your mood, your confidence, and your relationships.


Chronic pain, unpredictable flare-ups, hormonal ups and downs... it’s a lot. And when sex becomes something stressful or painful instead of pleasurable, it can start to impact how you see yourself, your body, and your place in a relationship.


You might find yourself asking:

  • “Why can’t I just enjoy sex?”

  • “Will my partner lose interest?”

  • “Am I broken?”


Spoiler: You’re not. You’re navigating something real and challenging that you didn't choose... and you're doing your best within it. That doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.



Reframing Intimacy: Less Pressure, More Possibility


When penetration is painful (or just not appealing), what do you do?


You get creative.


Intimacy doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all. It doesn’t have to be orgasm-focused or penetration-centric. It doesn’t even have to be about sex at all.


It can look like:


  • A long, warm bath together

  • Slow, sensual massage

  • Skin-on-skin cuddling under the sheets

  • Mutual touch or masturbation

  • Sharing fantasies or exploring arousal in new ways


The key is communication. Let your partner in: talk about what feels good, what doesn’t, and how things might change from one day to the next. (Because with endo, they often do.)


Instead of chasing a “finish line,” try shifting toward an experience-based mindset. Focus on what feels good, what builds connection, and what brings you closer—physically or emotionally.


Remember: There’s no right or wrong way to be intimate. There’s only what works for you.


 

What Can Help: Medical, Physical, and Therapeutic Tools


Unfortunately, there’s no magic fix for endometriosis. But some options can help ease symptoms and improve your sex life:


Medical Treatments

 

Hormonal therapies (like the pill, hormonal IUDs, or GnRH agonists)can reduce or stop periods, which often means less inflammation and pain. Some people also benefit from surgery (typically laparoscopic) to remove or reduce endometrial lesions.


Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

 

This one’s a game-changer for many. If your muscles are constantly tensing up—either from pain or in anticipation of it—targeted physical therapy can help you relax, realign, and reconnect with your body.


In fact, studies show that pelvic PT can significantly improve both pain and sexual function in people with endo.


If you're looking for the perfect toy to help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, SVAKOM Nova is an excellent contender. With 3 different sizes, tapered tips, and retrieval cords, it's an excellent way to slowly and gently build up your exercise workout down there.

NOVA Svakom

 💡 Want to learn more about how pelvic floor exercises can enhance your intimate health? Read our guide for effective pelvic floor exercises for both women and men here.

 


Therapy for Your Mental & Emotional Health

 

Working with a therapist (especially one who understands chronic illness or sex therapy) can help unpack the fear, pressure, or negative self-talk that often shows up around intimacy.


Mindfulness-based sex therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or even just having a safe space to vent can make a huge difference.



Sex Toys: Gentle Tools for Exploration

 

For many people with endometriosis, penetrative sex can feel like too much—too soon, too painful, or just too complicated. That’s okay. Your body deserves pleasure without pressure.


This is where sex toys can offer something truly special: a way to explore sensation, arousal, and connection on your own terms.


Here are a few beginner-friendly options:


External Vibrators

 

Think gentle buzz, not bold intensity. Small bullet vibes or soft silicone clitoral stimulators can help awaken desire without any internal pressure.

 

EDENY underwear


Wand Massagers

 

Great for full-body relaxation or teasing erogenous zones. Wands can help ease pelvic tension and turn stress into softness.

 

Emma-Neo-2.gif__PID:18a68f2b-cf4a-4959-8d47-43d0f93ba3d9


Wearable or Remote-Controlled Toys

 

These give you the reins—or let your partner take them, if that feels fun. Perfect for low-effort play or slow-building arousal.

 



As much as we'd love for them to be, sex toys aren’t a quick fix for endometriosis pain. But they are a tool—one that can help you reconnect with your body in a safe, private, and curious way. 


 

🌸 Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to enjoy every toy. And you don’t have to push through discomfort. Explore at your own pace. And always, always listen to your body.

 

 

Psychological Intimacy and Self-Compassion

 

Sometimes, the most powerful form of intimacy is the one that starts with you.


Chronic illness can chip away at your confidence, your joy, and your relationship with your body. Rebuilding that relationship—tenderly and on purpose—is a radical act of self-love.


That might look like:


  • Quiet moments of solo touch or pleasure

  • Standing in the mirror and saying something kind to yourself

  • Letting go of “shoulds” and making space for “maybes”

  • Practicing mindfulness during sex, focusing on breath, sensation, and presence

  • Working with a therapist who helps reframe the story you’re telling yourself about sex and worth


 

Creating a Supportive Environment

 

Whether you're partnered or solo, community matters. Having a partner who listens, learns, and adapts with you? That’s gold. And it starts with open, honest conversations.


Partners can support by:


  • Asking how you're feeling, not just if you're up for sex

  • Learning about endometriosis (without putting the emotional labor on you)

  • Being open to changing what sex looks like—without shame or pressure

  • Encouraging medical or therapeutic care when it feels right for you

  • Support groups (whether in person or online) can also be incredibly affirming. Hearing from others with similar experiences can help reduce isolation, inspire new coping strategies, or simply make you feel seen.

 


 

Final Thoughts: Your Intimacy, Your Terms


Living with endometriosis doesn’t mean the end of pleasure. It just means redefining what pleasure looks like for you.


There’s no one path to healing, no perfect sex life to “get to.” There’s just this moment and the next. Moments to explore, to connect, to rest, to reclaim.


Whether you’re navigating pain, rediscovering your body, or rebuilding trust with a partner, go gently. Stay curious. Choose connection over expectation. Endometriosis may shape your experience of intimacy, but it doesn’t define your capacity for connection, love, or joy.

 


View More Blogs

Introduction to Kink & Fetish

Einführung in Kink & Fetisch

Nov 28, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Irgendwann in deinem Leben hast du wahrscheinlich schon einmal die Worte Kink und Fetisch gehört – typischerweise während schmutziger Gespräche oder, zumindest in der Vergangenheit, als eine Form von Stigmatisierung, um sich über jemanden lustig zu machen oder ein Gefühl der Andersartigkeit zu implizieren.

Bisexual Visibility Day

Bisexuelle Sichtbarkeitstag

Nov 08, 2022
by
Garrison Irwin

In den frühen 1990er Jahren begannen sich verschiedene bisexuelle Organisationen zu bilden, insbesondere in den Vereinigten Staaten. Der internationale Tag wurde jedoch 1999 auf der jährlichen Konferenz der International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA) ins Leben gerufen, dank der Initiative von drei bisexuellen Aktivisten: Wendy Curry, Michael Page und Gigi Raven Wilbur. 

Taiwan legalizes gay marriage - Svakom Store

Taiwan legalisiert die Ehe für gleichgeschlechtliche Paare

Nov 08, 2022
by
Garrison Irwin

Diese Genehmigung bringt Taiwan an die Spitze der wachsenden Bewegung für die Rechte von Schwulen in Asien. Taiwans Parlament legalisierte am Freitag die gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe, ein beispielloses Ereignis in Asien, nachdem die Regierung einen letzten verzweifelten Versuch von Konservativen überstanden hatte, eine abgeschwächte Version zu verabschieden.

All about Stonewall riots - Svakom Store

Alles über die Stonewall-Unruhen

Nov 08, 2022
by
Garrison Irwin

Am 28. Juni 1969 wurde in einer Kneipe namens Stonewall Inn in New York eine Razzia der Polizei gegen die LGBT+-Gemeinschaft durchgeführt. Dies führte zu massiven Demonstrationen, die den ersten Kampf für die Rechte der LGBT+-Gemeinschaft darstellten.

Valentina Sampaio, Victoria’s Secret’s first trans model - Svakom Store

Valentina Sampaio, das erste Transmodel von Victoria’s Secret

Nov 08, 2022
by
Trista Wang

In derselben Woche, in der bekannt wurde, dass das weltweit bekannteste Dessous-Unternehmen, Victoria's Secret, die Organisation seiner berühmten jährlichen Parade aufgrund mangelnder Vielfalt eingestellt hat, hat es beschlossen, einen Rückschlag hinzunehmen.

Fxxk Taboos Strawberry Edition in Russia - Svakom Store

Fxxk Taboos Strawberry Edition in Russland

Oct 21, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Dieser Winter kam früh in Russland, der Schnee fiel so anmutig und elegant vom Himmel. Die Meilen von sanftem Weiß bedeckten Moskau, die Stadt des Schnees, kühl und doch friedlich. Das SVAKOM Team besuchte Russland in dieser schönen schneereichen Saison und genoss die leuchtende Stadt, mit Tonnen von freundlichen Distributoren, Kunden und lieben Menschen aus der gleichen Branche. Das Wetter war einfach perfekt für eine Indoor-Party, um die Kälte abzutanzen, also versammelten wir all die Freunde, die wir in Russland haben, und veranstalteten die erste Fxxk Taboos-Party in diesem bezaubernden Land.

New Products Launch in F**k Taboos Party - Svakom Store

Neue Produkteinführungen auf der F**k Taboos Party

Oct 21, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Dieser Winter kam früh in Russland, der Schnee fiel so anmutig und elegant vom Himmel. Die Meilen von sanftem Weiß bedeckten Moskau, die Stadt des Schnees, kühl und doch friedlich. Das SVAKOM Team besuchte Russland in dieser schönen schneereichen Saison und genoss die leuchtende Stadt, mit Tonnen von freundlichen Distributoren, Kunden und lieben Menschen aus der gleichen Branche. Das Wetter war einfach perfekt für eine Indoor-Party, um die Kälte abzutanzen, also versammelten wir all die Freunde, die wir in Russland haben, und veranstalteten die erste Fxxk Taboos-Party in diesem bezaubernden Land.

In This Restless City, We Had Fun! - Svakom Store

In dieser unruhigen Stadt hatten wir Spaß!

Oct 21, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Inferno, definiert als ein Ort oder ein Zustand, der der Hölle ähnelt oder sie suggeriert, oder ein intensives Feuer. Ironischerweise wird Hongkong kalt, wir wollten die Nacht für alle LKF-Feierer mit unserer feuerähnlichen Energie, dem besten Party-Konzept (aller Zeiten) und unseren Produkten (natürlich) erhellen. Erinnern wir uns an die Nacht am 8. Dezember, ich glaube, jeder in LKF sprach über diese "Sexspielzeug-Party" in Rula Bula.  

Let’s Talk Consent - Svakom Store

Reden wir über Zustimmung

Oct 21, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Glücklicherweise wird das Thema Zustimmung heutzutage immer mehr diskutiert. Aber was genau bedeutet Zustimmung? Und wie können wir sie etablieren, ohne den Moment zu ruinieren und wie ein Roboter zu klingen? Zustimmung muss die Stimmung nicht verderben.

Sex Parties: Staying Safe - Svakom Store

Sexpartys: Sicher bleiben

Oct 18, 2022
by
Trista Wang

Sex kommt in vielen Formen, Gestalten und Größen. Es gibt keine Einheitsgröße, wenn es darum geht, was uns anregt. Wenn wir Schritte unternehmen, um unsere Sexualität, Vorlieben und Abneigungen, die Menschen und Handlungen, die uns zum Sprudeln und Platzen bringen, zu erkunden, können viele Bedenken oder Ängste auftreten.