Real vs fake orgasms and sex toys to help

It’s one of the most memorable and quoted scenes to appear on the silver screen, and is about a very public and very fake orgasm. We’re talking about that iconic scene “I’ll have what she’s having” moment from the 1989 film “When Harry Met Sally”. 

For those who aren’t familiar with the scene, let’s recap. Friends Sally (played by Meg Ryan) and Harry (played by Billy Crystal) are sitting at a restaurant table with sandwiches when she begins to moan seductively. Sally runs her hand through her golden curls of hair and down her neck then tosses her head back as her moans get louder. Eventually, she smacks her hand on the table and yells “Yes! Yes! Yes!”. Other diners turn to watch. Sally takes a bite of coleslaw and smiles, her satisfaction prompting another customer to exclaim, “I’ll have what she’s having”.

Why was Sally making such a spectacle during her meal? To prove to Harry that women do, in fact, fake orgasms. What’s more, it can be difficult to tell if sexual pleasure is real or faked for their partner’s satisfaction. 

The scene received mixed responses – and still does. However, its real value goes beyond mere entertainment to raising awareness and encouraging discussion about a common issue. So, let’s get personal: have you ever faked an orgasm and what are the best sex toys for having a real one?

What is an orgasm?

Our sexual response is a complex and individual process with various physical, emotional and mental aspects. However, there are some common changes that occur across individuals as part of sexual responses, and one of these is orgasm.

An orgasm can be defined as involuntary muscular contractions that occur throughout the body, particularly the pelvic floor muscles, during the height of sexual arousal. A range of other changes also occur, such as increases in blood pressure, breathing and heart rate, to name just a few examples.

However, orgasms during sex are not guaranteed and the associated challenges can be a problem for individuals and couples. In fact, it’s been estimated by researchers that around 1 in 5 women (79 per cent) and just over half (53 per cent) of men have faked an orgasm.

What is a fake orgasm?

In short: a fake orgasm is pretending to have an orgasm without actually doing so. 

Why do people fake orgasms?

Having an orgasm is often linked to sexual satisfaction, which is hardly surprising because it does involve the release of hormones and brain chemicals that improve our mood and reduce stress. 

The reasons for pretending to climax are as varied as the individuals and their performances. Research has found that an increasing number of healthy, young men whose porn viewing creates problems becoming aroused with a partner are faking orgasms, and yet the pretense continues to be discussed mainly in relation to women. 

Some women fake orgasms to avoid disappointing or upsetting their partner, or because they want to appear “normal” based on the assumption that sex “should” result in a big O. 

Meanwhile, others do it to get sex “over and done with”, for example because of pain, discomfort or not being in the mood. Another common reason that some women fake orgasms is to make themselves feel more aroused.

Is it ‘normal’ to fake orgasms?

At SVAKOM, we avoid the term “normal” when it comes to orgasms, just as I do in my as a certified clinical sexuality coach. That’s because we believe there’s more to sexual pleasure and wellness than orgasms alone.

Going by statistics, one could argue that faking orgasms is “common”, particularly among heterosexual cis women during penis-in-vagina intercourse because they need more clitoral stimulation than they receive. 

Although faking orgasms is not an official disorder, it’s important to mention that if you experience unwanted and persistent difficulties reaching orgasm, it may be worth seeking advice from a sex coach or other relevant practitioner. Potential issues to look out for are having orgasms too quickly, slowly, infrequently, or not at all, or with less intensity than usual.

Do orgasms matter? 

Whether orgasms are important is another question where the answer depends on the circumstances. One way to approach the matter is in terms of sexual health.

Sexual health is a broad term for different aspects of health and wellbeing, so there is no single or correct version. 

However, the World Health Organization (WHO) defines sexual health as not just the absence of disease, but also the ability to experience sexual pleasure and healthy relationships. More specifically, the WHO states that sexual health is: 

“...a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”

So, if having an orgasm is important to your individual sexual health, then you may say that yes, it does matter!

Best sex toys for orgasms

Clearly, reaching orgasm isn’t always easy for adults whether in solo or partnered scenarios. However, there are sex toys that can help adults to pursue increased sexual pleasure and climax. At SVAKOM we have a range of premium sex toys expertly designed to stimulate a range of erogenous zones with orgasmic results…

Best G-spot sex toy 

SVAKOM Cici 2 is perfectly shaped to stimulate the G-spot thanks to its precisely angled head. Designed for all experience levels, its ultra-slim design makes it ideal for bodies with a vagina who: are new to vibrators; returning from sexual inactivity; or find penetration by a wider shaft uncomfortable. There’s even a heating function that warms the shaft head to 38°C to boost your arousal. Did we mention it’s compatible with the SVAKOM App too? That means you can use your smart device to create your own settings, enjoy remote control or interact with a partner at any distance.

Check out SVAKOM Cici 2 now. 

Best clitoral sex toy 

Clitoral stimulation is the key to orgasm for many bodies with a vulva and is what SVAKOM Pulse Galaxie targets best. This innovative sex toy, which resembles home decor, delivers suction stimulation using air rather than vibrations for oral sex-like sensations. Technically, this air-based pleasure is courtesy of SVAKOM’s patented Pulse Technology. 

Pulse Galaxie’s slim, oval-shaped design comprises two parts: the top half is the pulse stimulator and magnetically attaches to the bottom half which is a charging dock. This dock projects a gorgeous purple starlight display on your ceiling to build a sensual atmosphere. Compatible with the SVAKOM App, Pulse Galazie is customizable and ideal for long-distance partner play.

Satisfy your curiosity and view SVAKOM Pulse Galaxie now.

Best penis sex toy

When it comes to penis stimulation, Sam Neo 2 is a favorite worldwide. This upgraded version of the original Sam Neo masturbator mimics blowjob sensations via powerful sucking and vibrating action while the thick textured sleeve massages your penis. Sam Neo 2 also uses SVAKOM’s clever ‘Extended O’ function to instantly reduce toy intensity so your orgasm will last even longer.

More than a basic masturbator for you to enjoy alone, you can use Sam Neo 2 with the SVAKOM App to customize settings or interact with a partner located anywhere. You can even pair Sam Neo 2 with the Feel Connect 3 App to feel the motion of interactive adult videos or with Feelperformer.com so you can earn tips by letting webcam viewers control your toy. 

Shop SVAKOM best-selling Sam Neo 2 now.

Best prostate sex toy

The prostate is often likened to the G-spot, hence the synonym ‘P-spot’. Stimulating this pleasure zone is easier with a sex toy such as SVAKOM Vick Neo, a prostate massager. Shaped like the capital letter ‘L’, Vick Neo has a curved shaft angled to target your prostate while its external attachment nestles against your perineum. 

Reflecting SVAKOM’s commitment to technologically innovative sex toys, Vick Neo features an illuminated logo, and can be used with the SVAKOM App to customize vibration settings and play long-distance. As part of the Connexion Series, you can also pair it with the FeelConnect 3 App to watch interactive adult videos or FeelPerformer platform if webcamming to earn tips.

Discover the possibilities of SVAKOM Vick Neo now.

Best couple’s sex toy

One of the biggest challenges for couples during penetrative sex can be achieving the ideal combination of internal and external stimulation for both partners to orgasm. A popular solution for many couples, at least during vaginal or anal penetration by a penis is SVAKOM Winni 2. 

This cock ring has a slim ring that stretches to suit different shaft girths and an attached stimulator with a dual-point tip. This soft and flexible tip is inspired by the clitoral stimulating “bunny ears” attachment on traditional rabbit vibrators for bodies with a vagina. The same effect can be achieved with Winni 2 during sex if the wearer has the dual-point tip facing their partner’s clitoris. 

For added convenience, you can operate Winni 2 using buttons on the sex toy, the wireless remote control, or the SVAKOM App, which has the benefit of allowing for customization. And, if the wearer is playing solo, they can use the app to interact with a partner at any distance.

Enjoy Winni 2 now.

Pursue your orgasm today

Orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal of sexual activity in solo or couple's scenarios. However, if reaching climax is important to you and a partner you may have then why not explore the potential benefits of incorporating high-quality sex toys?